"Pain demands to be felt." -John Green-
Whew. So many heavy and sad things have happened in the last few weeks. Hurricane Harvey leaves destruction in its wake down in Houston and other areas and displaces millions of people leaving thousands without homes and worldly goods to call their own. Not to mention it took many lives. We barely have time to catch our breaths and Hurricane Irma is headed for a different part of the country. I guess the positive thing through Harvey is that it made people take Irma very seriously and thousands of lives were saved because of it. And this is just natural disasters. I will not get into the political turmoil in too great a depth because it's just a road that I can't stomach at this exact moment.
On a personal scale, these last few weeks have been horrible for many people that I know or who are friends of friends or acquaintances. I am going to list some of the suffering that just me or my immediate family and friends have been a witness to even just this last week.
1. I got a text from my sister the other day. There is a family that she knows through church. The mom just gave birth to their 7th child a few weeks ago. I believe all 7 kids still live at home and the father committed suicide last week. So now, in addition to taking care of a newborn baby, this mom is now responsible for the sole care of her 7 kids and has been left with no income, no life insurance and the emotional toll that it takes when this happens to your loved one. Her HUSBAND! It's so awful.
2. My other sister sent us a text today saying that a 3 year old little boy whose brother is in my nieces class at school was killed in a hit-and-run accident the other day in their town in Colorado. Awful.
3. My sister-in-law told us yesterday that one of her friends in her group of friends at College in Colorado was in a terrible motorcycle accident the other night. He survived the accident but suffered a stroke a few days later and has now passed away. He was 20 years old.
4. I stopped with my dear friend the other day to visit the grave of her son. A baby boy named Charley who we lost in April. He was stillborn. While that in itself is a tragedy that I will have to write about at another date, while we were there she went and introduced herself to 2 women who were standing by a freshly dug grave. The grave contains a boy who was 25 years old when he was struck and killed by the Music City Star, the train that runs here in Nashville to take commuters from suburbs into downtown and back.
5. Today, a friend shared a story on Facebook of a sweet family who was in a terrible car accident in Arkansas the other day. They lost their sweet 2 year old little girl as a result of that accident. Also the mommy was pregnant with a little boy. 28 weeks along and she had to deliver the baby as a result of the trauma from the accident and he did not survive. 2 children in 24 hours gone. Heartwrenching. Awful, terrible, horrifying, tragic.
6. I saw a news story today that a group of teenagers in a town in Maryland were bullying an 8 year old boy. The teenagers are white and the boy is African American. They took a rope from a tire swing and wrapped it around this boys neck and pushed him off of a picnic table at a park. They were calling him racial slurs and they all just stood there while he struggled to free himself from the rope. He struggled and was able to get free and had to be immediately taken to the hospital for an emergency procedure on his windpipe or he WOULD HAVE DIED! WHAAAAAT???? How has hate gotten so far into our hearts that we would be showing and teaching our children that this is acceptable behavior??? How??
And all of this is within the last week.
SO MUCH SUFFERING!!
So, to quote Ebenezer Scrooge from "A Christmas Carol," "How can we endure it?"
How?? In a world where suffering is hitting us from every direction and coming out of the woodwork every single day, what can we do?? How can we help? How can we stay sane?? It's so so hard.
What I have to do is something. Anything. I say a prayer for each specific individual involved. If there is a fund to donate to, I do that. Every little bit helps and I give what little we can spare. I am also buoyed up by the positive things that come as a direct result from suffering. These hurricanes have given us, as Americans, a chance to show our true colors. To show that, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what race, gender, political party or group you belong to. We are HUMAN and we belong to each other! We are there when survival is needed. We bring food, boats, underwear, clothes, water, shelter and we give money when it is needed. So many amazing and inspiring stories have come in the aftermath of these tragedies. Also, my sister-in-law said that her friend was able to donate some of his organs. Lives will be saved because of his sacrifice. What an amazing gift and blessing that will be to the families involved.
I think of the quote from Mr. Rogers to "look for the helpers" in times of destruction and tragedy. We just had the 16 year anniversary of 9/11. The stories of the men and women who saved countless lives on that day with no regard for their own personal safety have been so filling in a situation that could have bled us dry as a nation. The first responders and other every day people who were right there in the scariest situation possible. They amaze me. Helen Keller said, "Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." I have no idea why it is that we grow the most when we have to suffer. My personal growth and testimony of my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ is always so much more through the trials and tribulations of this life then the good and happy times. When things are going well it's great! But I can't think of a ton of personal growth that happens when times are good and easy. And on the other side of the coin, I can't say that I really have appreciated the good things in my life until I have seen how easily they can be taken away.
"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." Kahlil Gibran
I guess you could say that to the outward view, my life has been pretty easy. I have not had any huge and unexpected personal loss in my family. I have lost grandparents and that has had a huge effect on me and caused me to grieve in deep deep ways that I am still dealing with and discovering. That is an entire post in itself. But, I have not lost a parent, sibling, child or niece or nephew. (Although my sisters have experienced miscarriage and infertility and that brings up profound loss and grief.) I have experienced the loss of my best friends baby boy and, we are so close, it feels like a nephew that I have lost. But, my point is, it may not look like I have suffered a lot myself. But I am a deeply emotional person. My compassion for others and their suffering runs very deep. To the point that I have to filter myself from too many news organizations and ads and stories that highlight nothing but suffering. I simply cannot bear it. I drop down into dark and deep depression when I allow myself to focus on the world and its evils. The weight becomes crushing. I can't focus or function in my day to day life when this happens. So, I can't let that into my personal space. I post (almost) only positive things on my social media pages and I only follow the people who do the same. I don't deny that the suffering is happening but I focus on what I CAN do. Like donate to organizations regularly that are aiding refugees around the world. Or families that have a sudden loss and need financial support. I pray. A lot. I teach my children kindness, compassion and empathy. I focus on being put through the refiners fire and coming out a diamond or a smooth stone on the other side of suffering. "If you had not suffered as you have, there would be no depth to you as a human being, no humility, no compassion." Eckhart Tolle.
Compassion is an essential part of this human experience. If we don't have compassion for each other, we cannot see each other for what we truly are and can become. Children of God with the ability to exceed far and away beyond our expectations of what we can do and accomplish.
"Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny." CS Lewis.
I believe that we all are put on this earth for a reason and that reason is not a selfish one. We are supposed to be the ones who are bearing one another's burdens that they may be light. The suffering of others should arouse us to action. Even if you're like me and you have to filter it so it doesn't overtake you, you can still do SOMETHING!!
So much suffering. I don't think it is going anywhere either, but if we take what is in front of us and do something about it, we will be giving light to a world that is full of darkness. Light and dark, happy and sad, joy and pain, grief and love. These things all go hand in hand and you can't have one without the other. But if you remember that you have light within you, and you let it "shine, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father in Heaven." (Matthew 5:16.) Remember who you are and that YOU have a voice a capacity to change things! If you change your own world, you change the whole world. By bringing more light you are doing us all a great service. So, seek the light. Find the good and bring it out into the open. I am here and I am trying to do the same thing! Let's do this all together. "First the pain and then the rising." Glennon Doyle.
We got this. And remember: "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of places, if one only remembers to turn on the light." Albus Dumbledore.
Love and light,
Stef
Whew. So many heavy and sad things have happened in the last few weeks. Hurricane Harvey leaves destruction in its wake down in Houston and other areas and displaces millions of people leaving thousands without homes and worldly goods to call their own. Not to mention it took many lives. We barely have time to catch our breaths and Hurricane Irma is headed for a different part of the country. I guess the positive thing through Harvey is that it made people take Irma very seriously and thousands of lives were saved because of it. And this is just natural disasters. I will not get into the political turmoil in too great a depth because it's just a road that I can't stomach at this exact moment.
On a personal scale, these last few weeks have been horrible for many people that I know or who are friends of friends or acquaintances. I am going to list some of the suffering that just me or my immediate family and friends have been a witness to even just this last week.
1. I got a text from my sister the other day. There is a family that she knows through church. The mom just gave birth to their 7th child a few weeks ago. I believe all 7 kids still live at home and the father committed suicide last week. So now, in addition to taking care of a newborn baby, this mom is now responsible for the sole care of her 7 kids and has been left with no income, no life insurance and the emotional toll that it takes when this happens to your loved one. Her HUSBAND! It's so awful.
2. My other sister sent us a text today saying that a 3 year old little boy whose brother is in my nieces class at school was killed in a hit-and-run accident the other day in their town in Colorado. Awful.
3. My sister-in-law told us yesterday that one of her friends in her group of friends at College in Colorado was in a terrible motorcycle accident the other night. He survived the accident but suffered a stroke a few days later and has now passed away. He was 20 years old.
4. I stopped with my dear friend the other day to visit the grave of her son. A baby boy named Charley who we lost in April. He was stillborn. While that in itself is a tragedy that I will have to write about at another date, while we were there she went and introduced herself to 2 women who were standing by a freshly dug grave. The grave contains a boy who was 25 years old when he was struck and killed by the Music City Star, the train that runs here in Nashville to take commuters from suburbs into downtown and back.
5. Today, a friend shared a story on Facebook of a sweet family who was in a terrible car accident in Arkansas the other day. They lost their sweet 2 year old little girl as a result of that accident. Also the mommy was pregnant with a little boy. 28 weeks along and she had to deliver the baby as a result of the trauma from the accident and he did not survive. 2 children in 24 hours gone. Heartwrenching. Awful, terrible, horrifying, tragic.
6. I saw a news story today that a group of teenagers in a town in Maryland were bullying an 8 year old boy. The teenagers are white and the boy is African American. They took a rope from a tire swing and wrapped it around this boys neck and pushed him off of a picnic table at a park. They were calling him racial slurs and they all just stood there while he struggled to free himself from the rope. He struggled and was able to get free and had to be immediately taken to the hospital for an emergency procedure on his windpipe or he WOULD HAVE DIED! WHAAAAAT???? How has hate gotten so far into our hearts that we would be showing and teaching our children that this is acceptable behavior??? How??
And all of this is within the last week.
SO MUCH SUFFERING!!
So, to quote Ebenezer Scrooge from "A Christmas Carol," "How can we endure it?"
How?? In a world where suffering is hitting us from every direction and coming out of the woodwork every single day, what can we do?? How can we help? How can we stay sane?? It's so so hard.
What I have to do is something. Anything. I say a prayer for each specific individual involved. If there is a fund to donate to, I do that. Every little bit helps and I give what little we can spare. I am also buoyed up by the positive things that come as a direct result from suffering. These hurricanes have given us, as Americans, a chance to show our true colors. To show that, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what race, gender, political party or group you belong to. We are HUMAN and we belong to each other! We are there when survival is needed. We bring food, boats, underwear, clothes, water, shelter and we give money when it is needed. So many amazing and inspiring stories have come in the aftermath of these tragedies. Also, my sister-in-law said that her friend was able to donate some of his organs. Lives will be saved because of his sacrifice. What an amazing gift and blessing that will be to the families involved.
I think of the quote from Mr. Rogers to "look for the helpers" in times of destruction and tragedy. We just had the 16 year anniversary of 9/11. The stories of the men and women who saved countless lives on that day with no regard for their own personal safety have been so filling in a situation that could have bled us dry as a nation. The first responders and other every day people who were right there in the scariest situation possible. They amaze me. Helen Keller said, "Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." I have no idea why it is that we grow the most when we have to suffer. My personal growth and testimony of my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ is always so much more through the trials and tribulations of this life then the good and happy times. When things are going well it's great! But I can't think of a ton of personal growth that happens when times are good and easy. And on the other side of the coin, I can't say that I really have appreciated the good things in my life until I have seen how easily they can be taken away.
"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." Kahlil Gibran
I guess you could say that to the outward view, my life has been pretty easy. I have not had any huge and unexpected personal loss in my family. I have lost grandparents and that has had a huge effect on me and caused me to grieve in deep deep ways that I am still dealing with and discovering. That is an entire post in itself. But, I have not lost a parent, sibling, child or niece or nephew. (Although my sisters have experienced miscarriage and infertility and that brings up profound loss and grief.) I have experienced the loss of my best friends baby boy and, we are so close, it feels like a nephew that I have lost. But, my point is, it may not look like I have suffered a lot myself. But I am a deeply emotional person. My compassion for others and their suffering runs very deep. To the point that I have to filter myself from too many news organizations and ads and stories that highlight nothing but suffering. I simply cannot bear it. I drop down into dark and deep depression when I allow myself to focus on the world and its evils. The weight becomes crushing. I can't focus or function in my day to day life when this happens. So, I can't let that into my personal space. I post (almost) only positive things on my social media pages and I only follow the people who do the same. I don't deny that the suffering is happening but I focus on what I CAN do. Like donate to organizations regularly that are aiding refugees around the world. Or families that have a sudden loss and need financial support. I pray. A lot. I teach my children kindness, compassion and empathy. I focus on being put through the refiners fire and coming out a diamond or a smooth stone on the other side of suffering. "If you had not suffered as you have, there would be no depth to you as a human being, no humility, no compassion." Eckhart Tolle.
Compassion is an essential part of this human experience. If we don't have compassion for each other, we cannot see each other for what we truly are and can become. Children of God with the ability to exceed far and away beyond our expectations of what we can do and accomplish.
"Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny." CS Lewis.
I believe that we all are put on this earth for a reason and that reason is not a selfish one. We are supposed to be the ones who are bearing one another's burdens that they may be light. The suffering of others should arouse us to action. Even if you're like me and you have to filter it so it doesn't overtake you, you can still do SOMETHING!!
So much suffering. I don't think it is going anywhere either, but if we take what is in front of us and do something about it, we will be giving light to a world that is full of darkness. Light and dark, happy and sad, joy and pain, grief and love. These things all go hand in hand and you can't have one without the other. But if you remember that you have light within you, and you let it "shine, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father in Heaven." (Matthew 5:16.) Remember who you are and that YOU have a voice a capacity to change things! If you change your own world, you change the whole world. By bringing more light you are doing us all a great service. So, seek the light. Find the good and bring it out into the open. I am here and I am trying to do the same thing! Let's do this all together. "First the pain and then the rising." Glennon Doyle.
We got this. And remember: "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of places, if one only remembers to turn on the light." Albus Dumbledore.
Love and light,
Stef
Beautiful quotes. Powerful words. You got this.
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